It Still Hurts
by alicefiresage
Summary: Just a strange oneshot I wrote on a Monday night. Not sure what was going through my head. Sherlock/OC


It still hurts.  
Alice smiled as she walked out of the local bookstore, bag in hand. Her white ear buds were playing Five Finger Death Punch's House of the Rising Sun as she made her way back to Baker Street. Just as she turned a corner, she saw someone on the other side of the street that she thought she would never see again, Severus Snape.  
Automatically, Alice was on her guard. He didn't have any reason to hurt her but that didn't mean she didn't have her secrets. Since Severus was her first love as a teenager, she wasn't sure what to do when he left her. So of course, Alice being Alice, faked her own death in the Wizarding world when she was a 5th year, entering 6th.  
She knew what she was doing. Alice had planned to go into hiding for at least a year or two until the trace wore off but instead she met some people and ended up forgetting about her magic until now.  
Alice looked at Severus in pain one more time, seeing that he had got the girl of his dreams (lily Evans) and they had a son, before striding towards Baker Street at a quick pace.  
Once inside 221B, she relaxed a bit, but not much as she was shaking from the mere sight of the man. Alice looked over at Sherlock who was busy in his mind palace and went to put the new books on her bookshelf in his room. Why the man didn't just let her move into 221C, she didn't know and didn't question it.  
Alice removed her socks and shoes before going and making herself comfortable on the couch and burying herself in her new book, Doctor Sleep by Stephen King. It was a while before John came home, automatically noticing that something was off with Alice. She was almost finished with a new book and she didn't have anything else to multitask with around her.  
"Alice, you alright?" John asked.  
"Hmm? I'm fine, John" was her response.  
"Alright. What happened today? You're never fine."  
Alice wasn't sure if she should tell John about seeing Severus today. Sure he knew some of her history and that she was a witch but she didn't want to seem like some kind of girl who never got over the guy.  
"I swear, John, I'm alright. Just saw someone today and I'm a bit off. Give it a little bit and I'll be fine." She told him.  
"It was that Snape moron, wasn't it?" Mycroft asked from the doorway.  
"Oh for God's sake. Can't you ever knock?" ,Sherlock asked, "what do you want"  
"Alice, actually. But I can wait" mycroft replies, sitting in John's chair. Alice glanced over at John who was looking at her with silent eyes, almost begging for her to release whatever she was bottling up to him. Oh what the hell could it hurt? Mycroft and Sherlock both knew of him, so what was the harm of one more. She watched as he sat across from her on the couch.  
"Severus was my first boyfriend, the first person I ever loved" Alice began, "we were together for maybe a year, if you count how long he flirted with me. When I said yes, I had no experience with real emotions. I had my friends and my books, I thought that was all I needed. Then I decided to try and give love a shot and said yes to him. I took a chance.- oh dammit!"  
Alice jumped slightly violently as Sherlock threw her stuffed Cheshire Cat at her before sitting in his chair.  
"Anyways," she continued,"I was young, inexperienced, and tried to keep him by my side. I'm still pissed at him for leaving me because he knew my greatest fear was being left alone, which is what he did. I say he left when we pretty much agreed on the break up, but it was him leaving me. I had told him a few days before we ended, while we were arguing, that my opinions don't matter. So I wasn't gonna fight for him to stay when I knew it meant nothing. He said we could still be friends, but I knew it would never happen. Not after everything that happened. Every time I saw him, or something he gave me, all I felt was pain. He asked me a couple times if I hated his guts and why. Well I didn't just hate his guts, I hated every part of him because all I felt was pain."  
"So why did you leave their world?" John asked.  
"Well that's the thing. I didn't just leave. I faked my death. I was young and a fool, so I coped with the only way I know how, escape reality. Absorbed myself in my books, writings and art while in school then comes summer and I was gone forever. I still don't regret it. Only a few friends know I'm still alive"  
"What did you do with the ring?" Mycroft asked.  
Alice shrugged, "put it in a box with other things he gave me. That box is in a storage place I have. That ring was too much pain and, figuratively, broken."  
"How so?" John asked.  
"Felt like he made too many promises and broke them all. Too many broken promises and too many lies. It was a Christmas gift, but we were done a month and a half later."  
"What did you do when you 'died'?"  
"Somehow I managed to meet Mycroft and Sherlock. Worked for Mycroft for a while until I could get enough money to go home. To America. But I got too attached to genius one and two over there and ended up staying. I still regret nothing that I've done"  
"Why?"  
"Because I do what I want and regret nothing in the process. It wouldn't make me who I am today if I regretted things."  
"What was your argument about?"  
"Oh it happened every other month. Always asking why I was with him, just dumb crap. He couldn't leave a good thing alone. 'Through' he said he was trying to be. Such bullshit."  
John watched her for a moment as she silently glared holes at the fireplace before reaching over and hugging her. "One more question. What did he say his reason was for leaving?"  
Alice hugged him back, "one of the most retarded reason ever. He wanted to focus on his studies and friends"  
"I still think he's a complete moron. He turned you into a complete wreck when I first met you." Sherlock said from his chair as Alice let go of john.  
"I should've never let you two deduce him. You stood there and picked him apart. Down to his disowned mother and alcoholic father."  
"It was well worth it." Mycroft comments. Alice rolled her eyes, pushing her bangs behind her ear. Yes it still hurt when it came to Severus Snape, but Alice had the Holmes boys and brilliant Dr. Watson now. She moved on with life.

**Don't ask. Not sure where it came from. Typed it on my phone so screwy format.**


End file.
